I am resuming the effort to write my dissertation, although this project will not be as fruitful, presumably, as my detox project. I am hoping to chart my progress by putting my thoughts out there as they come. Hopefully, i will translate that into a viable dissertation.
My initial fear has to do with the general attitude that you don't let anyone know what your thoughts are when you are in academia. to publicly announce your ideas can be tantamount to plagiarizing your own work! Its still old school over there. Nevertheless, i want to know why i am so reluctant to finish this degree. I've been there for seven years and all the talk about people going through what i am going through only helps me procrastinate a little longer. I think I am holding back because I so completely lack the confidence to become a professional. I am so afraid of being seen, i can't manage to finish what I start. Well, this project is my last ditch effort to help myself.
In a weak effort to imitate my own project, i will use the next 21 days to chart my dissertation progress. I will get my hands dirty only to see what is happening to me as i get into complex thinking.
At 8:43pm
I am still road-blcked. Nothing. I can't even bear to look at my previous work. I usually accomplish very little when I am like this. Let's hope the next couple of hours don't turn me on to Judge Judy and a penchant for apple pie.
